I almost resigned last week....

“Jose told another student that a girl in his class is flat chested.” 

That was the sentence that immediately caught my eye as I returned to my desk after taking care of a puking mess in the health room.  Suspension paperwork.  Some weeks I could wallpaper my office with such paperwork.  Other weeks we may only have 1 or 2.  You never know how it will go in an elementary school office.  My day starts early and ends late (usually).  Each day is different and you never know what could happen.  911 calls?  I think I know the dispatcher on a first name basis.  Blood, vomit, asthma attacks?  Daily.  Hugs, smiles, tears, screaming?  Daily.  Loving my  job?  Every minute.  Usually.  Although I almost resigned this week.  My Principal hung up on me before I had the chance.  But that's a story for another day.

How did I find myself here?  I have worked at some pretty impressive places.  My very first job ever was in retail.  I found it boring and despite other teens my age thinking a job at the mall equaled perfection, I wanted out.  Missing the college train all together, I found myself working as a clerk typist for the fabulous City of Angels at the young age of 18.  Yep, Los Angeles City Hall City Planning Department.  I could write an entire book on my experiences there, let me tell you!  As a young person who led a previously (mostly) sheltered life, it was eye opening.  I quickly moved up and at the time I left City Hall I was working in the City Clerk’s office along with the not so honorable City Council.  (I actually met Tom Selleck once in council chambers….where or where did my picture with him go?)  Fun times for sure.

After I married and moved to Burbank, I found a job at the most obvious place in the city.  The Walt Disney Company.  Fun, Fun, Fun!  I worked in the Disney Store “Home Base” (as Disney cast members called the corporate office).  Would you like the definition of synergy?  The Walt Disney Company.  An amazing company to work for, they really formed my “can do” attitude which sustains my daily life in my current job.  While working with Disney, I enjoyed such perks as movie screenings in the animation building screening room (history!); 2 tickets a year to Disneyland, the annual Family Party at Disneyland (the entire park open to Cast Members only; imagine 50 cent hot chocolate at Disneyland!!),  and many other perks.  I loved that job.  But then…..life began.  Babies were born…….it was time to stay at home and play mommy.

Fast forward to the teenage years.  My husband experienced a “work slump”, it was time to return to work.  I now found myself living at least two hours away from the Great Mouse...so my number one option was not even feasible.  I accepted a job with one of the best known law firms in town.  What a nightmare!  They were the complete opposite of synergy, and finally after 2 attempts to resign (imagine a grown woman as your boss weeping when you try to resign, can you say manipulative?), I was finally free.  Now what?

Here is where the real story begins.  I started subbing as office help in the local school district.  I didn’t know what to expect, but really, how hard could it be?  I had worked with Disney Big Wigs!  I worked with the Los Angeles City Council!  I worked with dragon lady and crazy lawyers!  I even met Tom Selleck!  Piece of cake.  I can handle this!!!

My first assignment was on Valentine’s Day at an elementary school in a rather, shall we say, “needy” part of town.  I walked in and after quick introductions with the office clerk and principal, BOOM.  The roller coaster ride started.  Within the first hour the principal handed me suspension paperwork to be typed up.  There were late slips to be written, phone calls to answer, it never stopped.  Parents and flower shops delivering candy, flowers and balloons to students and staff; cookies, candy and punch delivered for class parties.  It was chaos!  Madness!  Oh and wait, I needed to do attendance.  It did not matter that I didn’t know how to do attendance, here is a 2 minute introduction……… now jump in!   And yet the real fun had not even started.  Remember all of the sugary items that had been delivered all morning?  Yep...families that couldn't pay their student's lunch account made sure that there were plenty of sugary sweets around.  The vomit began to flow...freely.  Um, and we don't have school nurses.  Guess who gets to take care of the vomiting students?  You guessed it!  Me!! 

I guess any sane person would have fled that school never to return.  But not me.  I.....loved.....it.  I wanted more.  I guess they thought I did OK too because after that I had every school in the district asking me to sub.  3 months later I had my own permanent place as a clerk.  A few short years later I landed my own gig...the best I could hope for.  A school secretary position.  My own school.  Yep MY SCHOOL.  You think the Principal runs the school?  Think again.  (You know I respect you boss...but you could not do this job without me!)

My clerk and I always say we need cameras in our office.  It would be the best reality TV show.  I guarantee you would watch, tuning in every week to see what madness occurred during our day.  Screaming parents?  We have that.  Crazy kids?  In droves!  Sad stories?  Too many to mention.  Laughter?  How else would we get thru the day??

I am an elementary school secretary. And this is my story.